Baby Steps

I just got home from 3 days of being with my 7 month old grandson.  Oh what fun!    I cherish this time with him.  The moments when he looks up at me just to make sure I'm still there are like invisible lines of connection heart to heart and I know I am so lucky.  I feel so blessed.  Oh how I wish I had had this kind of time with all of my children all of their young lives!   I know that there were some moments like these with them but not as many because I wasn't as "wise" and I was busy with three children and responsibilities of mother, wife and teacher.   With my grandson I have the gift of time without the laundry, cleaning or working outside of the home.  I AM blessed!  I am blessed with time and only one responsibility when I'm with him.   That responsibility is him and him only.

As he practices crawling and pulling himself up, discovering noises and making sounds, I notice the way he examines each item and experience.  It takes all of the little things to accomplish the understanding of muscles and balance and movement.  Hmmmm.... What does this remindme of?  Would it be learning to play the piano?  (Or maybe it's knitting?)  These are very alike in that there are many small steps that you must learn before you can be successful in putting together something big.  So why is it that we forget that basic fact?  At what age do we forget?  Who pushes us to go so fast that we miss out on the doing and learning?  Hmmmm......

  I wish I could shake the world out like a dusty blanket and get us back to what is real.  It's people and experiences and love and kindness.  To h*#+ with success and position!   Of course you have to be able to make money and take care of a family,  but why do we make it so "expensive".......I'm not talking money......I'm talking about the human element, the "heart" component that we've let drop away.  Is it possible that this is the source of the violence of guns in recent years?  I think so.  We've forgotten who we are.  In the quest for identity and self esteem,  multi-culturism and acceptance of everyone and everything, we have lost ourselves.  In the quest for recognition of giftedness and athleticism, wealth and status we have forgotten that without the people, the other inhabitants of our world, there would be no purpose for any of it.  There would be no purpose for success or status or position or money or career.  

What can I do?  How can I effect change?  Am I powerless?

NO I AM NOT!  

I can and will put all of my energy into people!  I will make one stitch at a time. I will invest myself in everyone I have the privilege to interact with every day  of my life.  

And if I don't?  

Well then I will consider myself a failure and that is not acceptable.

I have a plaque that hangs where I see it everyday.  It says, "when I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"  (erma bombeck)