Grandma's Techie Pearls

This week was apparently my week for tech support......I didn't call tech support.......I WAS the tech support.  This is a problem because I'm not all that "techie".  But I'm proud to say that I added another pearl to my strand.  (Just wish I knew how I did it!)

On Monday my husband and I took care of our grandson, 6 yrs old, who had the day off from school.  He has a new Wii game called Skylander.  It's pretty cool with a portal that connects to the game.  You place whatever character you want to be on the portal and on the screen you become that character.  No problem, right?  Just press the button on the remote and "Voila!" it all works!  Ah no, that's not what happened.  We did what any grandma and grandson would do.  We called for grandpa...."He'll be able to figure it out!"  This time even grandpa (after a call to daddy) admitted he didn't know what was wrong.  We moved on to something else for the day......low tech board games and endless rounds of cards and K'nects with time out for a bit of football outside in the yard.  (Grandpa taught him how to do a "head fake after a button hook"....??????)  Okay.......moving on....

The next day Grandpa went to take care of our 7 month old grandson and I stayed to take care of  the 6 yr old plus his cousins (6 and 4).  We made granola bars and hot chocolate and headed downstairs for a game on the Xbox Connect,  great way to work off energy.  I pushed the button on the remote and everything came on just like it's supposed to.  My grandson was exuberant and we cavorted around the room high fiving and whooping, bumping hips and yelling "Yes! Yes! Yes!!". The cousins just watched us with perplexed smiles.   They obviously didn't get the significance of my accomplishment!

Imagine the celebration the next day when I pushed the button and, wonder of all wonders, the Wii came on!  My grandson and I again did the celebratory circuit around the room.  "Grandma!  You did it!  You figured it out!  Great job, Grandma!!"

I have no idea why it worked.  It does raise expectations for next time ......sigh.   I'm going to go with the "shut it off and restart it" trick though.

It's easier to follow pattern directions so I think I'll just sit down and knit!

Cherished Life Experience Pearls

The Methodist Federation for Social Action shared this post on Facebook:

Love Thy Neighbor
Thy Homeless Neighbor
Thy Muslim Neighbor
Thy Black Neighbor
Thy Gay Neighbor
Thy White Neighbor
Thy Jewish Neighbor
Thy Transgender Neighbor
thy Christian Neighbor
Thy Atheist Neighbor
thy Racist Neighbor
Thy Addicted Neighbor

When I read this I thought, "Why would I limit myself to only loving those I had assigned a label to?    Isn't it more important to love thy neighbor despite their label?"

  I don't feel the need to point out how someone is different than me.  I just want to love them because they are!  I don't need to know why they are different than me or their past experiences.  I just need to love and respect them.   I recognize and am comfortable with my opinions about life but that doesn't dictate whether I love my neighbor or not.  

Years ago I served as a volunteer in a program that provided supervision to families who were in the social system for one reason or another.  I was responsible for the supervision of the parental/child  visitations of a family whose child had been taken away by the state of Colorado and placed in the custody of the paternal grandparents.  The mother was a borderline personality who had 3 other children, one of whom had been taken away from her and was firmly ensconced in the social system, falling between the cracks of that social system as they tried to put the best interests and safety of the child first.  A hard case for sure.  Each of the children had a different father.  The father of the little fellow I was in charge of was from a middle class family but had lost his way because of adolescent rebellion in my opinion.  He was in far over his head in a world he didn't understand but couldn't extricate himself from.  I was to be the one adult that the little one could count on, the face he would always see whenever an interaction outside of his custodial home life was required.  Whether parental visitations or court proceedings, he and I were an inseparable pair.

After a time the social worker asked if my family and I would be willing to role model how a healthy family functioned by having them come once a week for a family meal, teaching them how to prepare nutritious meals and shop economically, how to discipline positively and how to give medication appropriately.  For several weeks we did just that.  One of the visitations involved me taking the sweet little boy to the maternal grandparents home for an extended family birthday party. That's when the light went on for me.  No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many times I had them over to interact with my family it wasn't going to change a thing.  We were traveling along in the same world but in different realities.  That's when I discovered how important it was to be intentional about character, morals and integrity in my life.  The only way to give my children a healthy foundation was to establish the boundaries that would give them the best opportunity to succeed.

I loved that family I worked with.  I didn't understand them at all.  I loved that little boy.  I felt empathy for the father and the grandparents who were taking care of the little fellow. I cared about the mother and her family, I didn't understand them at all and knew I never would but they were likable and they were alive and I knew they needed my respect and caring despite what I thought of them.  And when we went to court that last time and the court granted custody back to the parents it was bittersweet.  The grandparents were angry and heartbroken because they didn't believe that the parents would be able to provide a long term healthy environment for their son.  I admit that I had my doubts too but it is what it is.  Several years later the social worker called me and asked me to serve in the same role for the same little fellow.  I just couldn't do it.  I had my own 3 teenagers by then and just didn't have the time or energy to do it.  Was I wrong?  I don't know but I do know that I felt a tremendous responsibility to the children that I had birthed.  I had to let someone else stand in for a sweet boy.  I have no idea how that case turned out but I will admit my heart breaks a little when I think of him.

You can see that when I say I don't need labels or pasts to love, it is from experience.  It took a lot of energy and time to learn this but I'm glad to have had the opportunity.  I wish there was a way to help people out of the whirlpools of labels and recognition of differences.  How will they ever reach their destiny if they allow themselves to be distracted by the minutia of life?   

Baby Steps

I just got home from 3 days of being with my 7 month old grandson.  Oh what fun!    I cherish this time with him.  The moments when he looks up at me just to make sure I'm still there are like invisible lines of connection heart to heart and I know I am so lucky.  I feel so blessed.  Oh how I wish I had had this kind of time with all of my children all of their young lives!   I know that there were some moments like these with them but not as many because I wasn't as "wise" and I was busy with three children and responsibilities of mother, wife and teacher.   With my grandson I have the gift of time without the laundry, cleaning or working outside of the home.  I AM blessed!  I am blessed with time and only one responsibility when I'm with him.   That responsibility is him and him only.

As he practices crawling and pulling himself up, discovering noises and making sounds, I notice the way he examines each item and experience.  It takes all of the little things to accomplish the understanding of muscles and balance and movement.  Hmmmm.... What does this remindme of?  Would it be learning to play the piano?  (Or maybe it's knitting?)  These are very alike in that there are many small steps that you must learn before you can be successful in putting together something big.  So why is it that we forget that basic fact?  At what age do we forget?  Who pushes us to go so fast that we miss out on the doing and learning?  Hmmmm......

  I wish I could shake the world out like a dusty blanket and get us back to what is real.  It's people and experiences and love and kindness.  To h*#+ with success and position!   Of course you have to be able to make money and take care of a family,  but why do we make it so "expensive".......I'm not talking money......I'm talking about the human element, the "heart" component that we've let drop away.  Is it possible that this is the source of the violence of guns in recent years?  I think so.  We've forgotten who we are.  In the quest for identity and self esteem,  multi-culturism and acceptance of everyone and everything, we have lost ourselves.  In the quest for recognition of giftedness and athleticism, wealth and status we have forgotten that without the people, the other inhabitants of our world, there would be no purpose for any of it.  There would be no purpose for success or status or position or money or career.  

What can I do?  How can I effect change?  Am I powerless?

NO I AM NOT!  

I can and will put all of my energy into people!  I will make one stitch at a time. I will invest myself in everyone I have the privilege to interact with every day  of my life.  

And if I don't?  

Well then I will consider myself a failure and that is not acceptable.

I have a plaque that hangs where I see it everyday.  It says, "when I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"  (erma bombeck)